What is domestic and family violence?

Domestic and family violence is a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour in which a partner, family member or carer governs or decides how another person should behave or think. This kind of behaviour may include:

Fear as a means of control created through any behaviour used to intimidate and take away your power

Social control includes criticism, jokes at your expense or put downs in front of family, friends, work friends etc., or controlling where you go or who you see

Sexual violence includes any unwanted sexual interaction. This may include forced sexual acts, harassment or sexual harm

Emotional or psychological control includes behaviour, actions or comments that undermine your sense of self and destroy your self-esteem and self-belief

Intimidation includes breaking your possessions, intimidating body language, hostile and aggressive questioning, constant calls, emails, text messages and stalking

Physical violence causing harm to you, your children, your property, family, friends and pets. It may also involve the threat of weapons.

Violence against pets includes threatening violence to your pet.

Financial control occurs when the abuser takes control over your financial resources. This may include not allowing you to work or controlling the money you earn and spend.

Spiritual practice control incudes ridiculing your spiritual beliefs and or excluding you from taking part in in cultural or spiritual activities

Reproductive abuse includes forcing you to fall pregnant, to terminate a pregnancy or to use or not use birth control.

Abuse in LGBTIQA+ relationships can involve unique tactics of abuse, including identity-based abuse such as threating to ‘out’ you to others where you have chosen not to come out or feel it is unsafe to do so.

Technology facilitated abuse involves using technology to send you abusive messages, repeatedly calling you and making threatening phone calls, creating fake social media accounts and/ or hurtful posts about you, locking you out of your online accounts, sharing or threatening to share images and videos of you without your permission, tracking you or hiding cameras to film you.

Strangulation or suffocation is a serious crime. This is an indicator that violence is escalating and is the most lethal form of domestic violence. If this has happened to you, tell someone eg: a support worker, the police, and seek medical attention as soon as possible.

[Reference: Charmed and Dangerous, 2020. Published by Legal Aid NSW Women’s Domestic Violence Court Advocacy Service].